Reading Your Ex’s Tinder Bio

We threw down a prompt… and the LitKanmani Quill Society picked it up from there! 

If you are still unfamiliar with the LitKanmani Quill Society, let me assure you that it is a too-good-to-be-true endeavour. It is our warm community of writers who meet in weekly sessions and participate in writing sprints. Yes, you are welcome to join. For free.

Going back to the prompt, Akshaya Mohan, founder of LitKanmani, simply wanted to spice things up by asking our writers to write a Tinder bio for their ex. As exciting as it may have sounded to some people, she was also careful enough to provide an alternative: the writer could also pick their favourite villain or a morally grey character.

But our Quill Society members know how to party, and this is what they had to share:

 

Aishwarya U

Papa ki pari, the one and only Prayagraj ka raja beta. 

My favourite place is the kitchen, and I bet you I make the best Mexican rice. I don’t care much about your past, but I want you to know my past. I pick up girls anywhere in public. If you'd like me to cook for you, please let me visit your oven as soon as possible. I run on horsepower, and obviously, I can’t always keep my eyes on you. 

Flirty fun, the only one piece you can find in the world, a little wild and tamed only by my forebearer. I am very manly and independent, looking for a mommy who can let me suck on t*ts. But I wouldn’t mind quick replacements here and there for t*ts. 

Love travelling, have travelled so many places. You and I can travel the world on your purse for the first few years!! Hit me up, I can take you for a ride, baby girl.

Varsha Bhat

Ursula (from The Little Mermaid)

 

Move over, genie in a bottle, it’s the reign of Queen Ursula. I can make your wildest wishes come true. With the voice of an angel, my free spirit floats in all directions. I am the world’s best hugger. Seriously, your hardest worries will untangle away in my talons. Come spill your secrets over some bubbly. Or tea, if that’s what you prefer. We can meet in my alcove and talk about our dreams to take over the world.

Sasirekha  MSVL

Three things you should know about me: 

• I am good at listening, but surely I would forget everything you tell me…
• I respect my parents, so yeah, no inter caste marriage, but I would love to be your friend after our definite breakup.
• I love playing games, and sometimes, I even get carried away with people’s emotions.
  

I am very good at : 

• Eating food, too lazy to cook.
• Sleeping. I can sleep for hours, sorry, days, with breaks in between to eat
• Understanding  (that is, myself)

I feel nervous : 

• To tell the truth (yeah, broke people’s hearts in the past by being nice even when I didn’t have any feelings for them)

Afshaan Shaikh 

Part-time ghoster: Full-time victim.

Certified narcissist with God Complex. Magician. Each time you'll trust me or ask for commitment, I'll disappear. Just a humble legend looking for someone who worships me just as much as my mom does. Loves to walk away *coughs* from responsibility. Fears God *coughs* also commitment. Family loving *coughs* Mama's boy. Rich enough to pay for your therapy, which you'll be needing because of me. Will make sure you miss me because, duh, bad decisions are hard to forget. Swipe right if you're into emotional rollercoasters, chaotic moods, toxicity, mixed signals, drama, and cryptic Instagram stories.

Love, the walking red flag! XoXo!

 

We know you cracked up, too! 

Well, what can we say? It is not always a manuscript or an article pitch we're working on each time we meet. Cities apart, we gather online to fall in love with the process, the art, the playfulness of it, only to make the goal seem more reachable. 

In a culture of hyperproductivity, we have forgotten to fall in love with productivity itself. At the LitKanmani Quill Society, we make it a point to rise above the noise, only through graceful, fun ways of loving the art of writing.